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Conan The Destroyer -- the movie

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#141 Crawley

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Posted 05 August 2011 - 03:55 AM

The only good thing about this movie was the Dagon statue....I wanted to take that home with me, pre-jeweled horn of course! lol

Edited by Crawley, 05 August 2011 - 04:20 AM.

Ookla...he's like a Wookie on too much black lotus!

#142 Sardonikus

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Posted 08 August 2011 - 09:10 PM

Sarah Douglas in a deleted love scene with Ah-nuld? Wonder if she was wearing a maid's outfit? ;)

Wilt Chamberlain as Bombaata? "I-thought-you-were-going-to-hurt-the-girl" - a veritable Olivier he was. :huh:

I did get a kick out of Malak (Tracey Walter). His trying to explain the birds and bees to the oh-so-virginal Jenna (Olivia d'Abo) is classically corny, along with the whole "cousin's sister's brother" thing.

Didn't (and STILL don't) know quite what to make of Grace Jones (me and 99.9% of the world's population), but I think REH may have approved of her depiction of an Amazon from Amazonia (actually, come to think of it, did REH even CREATE Amazonia or was that De Camp et al.?)

On the whole, I got a kick out of this movie as a kid. But as a born-again Howardian purist?
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#143 ThuleanWarrior

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Posted 09 August 2011 - 11:29 AM

I have always really liked this film. Of course I am no Howard purist, nor do I even care about stuff like that. No, it is not Howard at all and it does not stand up to the greatness of the first film but it is fun. Wilt sucks but everyone else seems to have personality, even the goofy thief.

Edited by ThuleanWarrior, 09 August 2011 - 11:30 AM.


#144 thestone

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:47 AM

I’m one of the few people who really enjoyed the Destroyer. I still haven’t seen the 2011 re-boot, but I’ve heard only negative things about it.
I’m just curious to see a poll of which of these films people generally liked better?

#145 emerald

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:40 AM

Destroyer is a ridiculous attempt to make Conan a PG-13 Family Friendly property. The actors perform in a range that extends from human cardboard cut-outs (Wilt Chamberlain) to eye-rolling mugging for the camera (Tracy Walter) with no pause for realism at any point between.
This film takes one of the most iconic battles in the whole of fantasy fiction, Conan vs Thak from REH's Rogues in the House, and turns it into a fourth rate big time wrestling throwdown in which Conan gets picked up by the feet and swing around in a circle, popping his eyes at the camera and mewling.
And talk about respect for the character of Conan....
Princess: "Conan! There are six of them against her!"
Conan: "One, two, three... I think you're right"
Hah, hah! Get it? The Cimmerian is too stupid to count to six!

And this film is way, way better than the 2011 re-boot.

#146 Ironhand

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 04:05 AM

Not to mention Conan drinking himself into a falling-down stupor from less than a single wineskin, while camped outside the castle of an enemy.

Edited by Ironhand, 18 April 2012 - 04:05 AM.

"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
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#147 amster

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 11:53 AM

Oh great! Another thread for people to bash Conan 2011. That's just what the forum needs, because obviously that subject has been rarely touched around here. <_< Conan2011 is both a better film and a better adaptation of Howard. In fact, I'd rather watch Conan2011 than Conan82 any day of the week. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Other than that, I don't feel particularly inclined to regurgitate arguments I've already made until I was blue in the face. I hope that the moderators will do the right thing and find and appropriate thread to merge this one with.
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--Robert E. Howard to Harold Preece, ca. June 1928--

#148 thedarkman

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 12:36 PM

Silly question ...Conan 2011, of course!

#149 witchfire

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:23 PM

Oh great! Another thread for people to bash Conan 2011. That's just what the forum needs, because obviously that subject has been rarely touched around here. <_< Conan2011 is both a better film and a better adaptation of Howard. In fact, I'd rather watch Conan2011 than Conan82 any day of the week. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Other than that, I don't feel particularly inclined to regurgitate arguments I've already made until I was blue in the face. I hope that the moderators will do the right thing and find and appropriate thread to merge this one with.


same here
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many i'll send into the ground, laughing as they die"

#150 johnnypt

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:47 PM

Despite my profound disappointment in the 2011 effort, it was better than Destroyer. I haven't been able to bring myself to watch that one since I first saw it on HBO back in '85.

#151 Taranaich

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 04:05 PM

To be frank, those are among the many, many reasons I couldn't stand to watch CtD again. My grievances with the 2011 film are known, but this... this was just another echelon.

See, the problem with CtD's approach to the source material is that it seems extremely insulting. When Conan can't count to 6, it's because you're laughing at Conan for being a Big Dumb Barbarian. When Conan takes several seconds to decide what to do next ("Into the boat!"), you're laughing at Conan. When Conan's professional wrestling bout with Toth-Amon culminates in a giant swing, you're laughing at Conan.

For all its faults, I never got the impression that Conan 2011 was laughing at Conan. Even Conan the Adventurer (animated) didn't seem to be laughing at Conan.

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#152 Officer Aggro

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 04:52 PM

I hope that the moderators will do the right thing and find and appropriate thread to merge this one with.


Done
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#153 guilalah

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Posted 18 April 2012 - 07:54 PM

Saw CtD in a cinema, back in the day; in that context was actually a sort of OK (if dumb)dumb pop-corn film, and (for me) more fun than most of CtB2011. On the TV CtD is just plain dumb.

#154 RJMooreII

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 11:12 PM

This movie is not about Conan. It doesn't even feel like it was written to be about Conan. It is, as someone said, a D&D session on screen.

It's mediocre as far as story, presentation, characterization and fight scenes go. Arnold does look pretty cool, and if you are a fan of him it is a watchable film just to see him.

Overall the film is a C-grade fantasy film; if you like bad fantasy or just cheesecake movies you could do worse than Destroyer, though.
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#155 Ironhand

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 03:28 AM

Considering CtD as a D&D session, if I played my PC as stupidly as Arnold (at the screenwriter's behest) played Conan, my fellow players would all make fun of me.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#156 kai

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Posted 26 April 2012 - 10:43 PM

First, I'm no CONAN "purist." Just putting that out there...

Having only watched CTD(1984) last week, I have to say I heartily enjoyed it. My only real disappointment was the physical effects/creature work; rubber never looked so like... well, rubber. Other than that, I enjoyed the tone and humor of the film. Also, I felt the cinematography was much better than the original. In my mind, CTD(1984) is much like INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE, a worthy, fun, and different sequel -- not the original (RAIDERS).

After CTD(1984), I popped in RED SONJA. Now, that was a truly bad movie. Corn-ball dialogue, a completely uninteresting plot, and "cartoon characters" for bad guys, I couldn't make it through the entire film.

#157 Ascalante

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 05:33 PM

I am definitely a Conan the Destroyer fan. I watch it roughly once a year. It doesn't reflect Howard's Conan, but I think it is entertaining as a comic book movie.

Highlights for me are:

-The opening scene where Conan rescues Malik. Mounted warriors are charging at Conan and he takes them out. Conan then has a decently brawny sword fight with the leader. Schwarzenegger is in amazing shape and seeing him battle in the first minutes of the movie is a good start. He just looks awesome tanned, in the sun, and ready kick ass. A lot of folks think Malik is annoying, which I get, but I find him slightly amusing in an antagonistic way.

-Conan rescues Mako from being eaten by man eating caveman. I thought this was a great scene with a great tribal soundtrack to go with it. Conan dispenses of the cave men easy enough, but with good action, a good soundtrack, and good costume design for the cavemen I thought this was a pretty exciting scene.

-Grace Jones' body. She may not be that hot, but she has a nice athletic body, which is nice to look at and she simply dresses half-naked. She has a nice line when talking to the princess how to get a man... "grab him and take him"...she could do that to me and I would be OK with it...

-Wilt Chamberlain's physical presence. He is a giant and he looks pretty bad ass swinging that giant mace. I get the feeling of a competition between Schwarzenegger and Chamberlain and their characters. Man against man, who is the biggest, baddest stud womanizer. Chamberlain claims to have slept with 10,000 women, so its hilarious that he is assigned to guard the virgin princess. Bombaata double-crossing Conan by blocking him from escaping the temple may cause Conan fans to grimace in anger.

-Good adventure sequence in the temple. I enjoyed the infiltration of the temple and the subsequent escape. Some good fight scenes and a good magic showdown between Mako and the wizard.

-Andre the Giant as Dagoth. This fight scene had it's moments, but was not great. It seemed a little short and others have pointed out some of the silliness. I still enjoyed watching Conan wrestle with Dagoth.

Overall, admittedly not a great movie, but I enjoyed the fantasy/adventure/journey aspect to it. In reality it's a two star movie, but in my Conan/Schwarzenegger skewed brain its a five star movie. All this Conan the Destroyer talk makes me want to checkout the Blu-Ray!

Edited by Ascalante, 27 April 2012 - 06:07 PM.


#158 EM Erdelac

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Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:55 PM

I agree, Ascalante. This was the first Conan movie I ever saw and even though I know I shouldn't, I still enjoy it. And like you, I appreciate Grace Jones. She's not perfect, but she's perfect for me. Haha.

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#159 lespaul59

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 08:35 AM

Destroyer is a ridiculous attempt to make Conan a PG-13 Family Friendly property. The actors perform in a range that extends from human cardboard cut-outs (Wilt Chamberlain) to eye-rolling mugging for the camera (Tracy Walter) with no pause for realism at any point between.
This film takes one of the most iconic battles in the whole of fantasy fiction, Conan vs Thak from REH's Rogues in the House, and turns it into a fourth rate big time wrestling throwdown in which Conan gets picked up by the feet and swing around in a circle, popping his eyes at the camera and mewling.
And talk about respect for the character of Conan....
Princess: "Conan! There are six of them against her!"
Conan: "One, two, three... I think you're right"
Hah, hah! Get it? The Cimmerian is too stupid to count to six!


And this film is way, way better than the 2011 re-boot.


Personaly I think Conan counting was ment to show he didn't believe Jehnna except the execution was bad. I think if that scene had been filmed differently o the dialog was different it would come off way better than it does.

Edited by lespaul59, 28 April 2012 - 08:35 AM.


#160 Ironhand

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Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:09 AM

True, if the movie had been filmed differently or the script was different, it would have come off way better.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject