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Conan The Destroyer -- the movie

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#1 Kieran

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 06:27 PM

I see no end of topics here about Conan the Barbarian, but what did you guys think of Conan the Destroyer? I think in some ways it was closer to REH's original stories and in some ways quite different. The overall plot was a lot more REH than Barbarian's and a few of the encounters were fairly similar to those in the short stories, such as the fight with the ape man in the red cloak which reminded me of the monster in Rogues in the House. However some things struck me as very unlike Howard's Conan. The inclusion of a comic (well I assume he was meant to be comic, but I can't say I found him particularly funny) sidekick was not a wise move and I doubt REH's Conan would still be deep in grief for a woman who died several years ago.
On the more technical side of things the acting and script weren't up to CTB's standard and the soundtrack was basically a weaker version of the original. The action sequences were well done, but not nearly as dramatic as those of its predecessors. The monsters looked quite a bit more rubbery than those in the previous film as well. Queen Taramis made a good villain though even though she was quite different from her REH namesake.
Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.

#2 massive cod piece

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 07:13 PM

I don't consider a pg-13 live action cartoon REH
The Lion strode through the halls of hell;
Across his path grim shadows fell
Of many a moving nameless shape-
Monsters with dripping jaws agape.
The darkness shuddered with scream and yell
when the Lion stalked through the Halls of Hell.

#3 El Borak's Li'l Brother

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 07:16 PM

This flick, as with Conan the Barbarian, had to have Robert E. Howard spinning in his grave, as the ol' cliche goes. It was a further step away from Howard's vision and showed, as with the first, it was made by people who didn't have a clue. The sidekick, the cliche oriental sorceror, the total ruination of Thoth-amon... And yes, the stripping li'l scenes from Howard's stories. Man!, that angered and angers me -- even today. Rather than interpreting a Howard story the flickmakers still from 'em which means if a story was turned into a flick the unwashed, so to speak, would see a stolen scene from said story and think the flickmakers stole it from those disaster Conan flicks.
Crom!

#4 Ring-Haunter

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 09:13 PM

I find CtD mostly silly and a bit embarrassing. The toning down of the R rating to a PG makes the film lose a lot of its bite and fierceness, and the comic relief is just moronic. I also don't like the "team" Conan puts together, makes me feel like I'm watching a D&D gaming session! There isn't much in the way of personality behind the film, it just acts like a lark -- and not a very fun one at that.
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#5 dr Bo

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Posted 13 January 2005 - 09:38 PM

Okay, we all have guilty pleasure, and for me Conan the Destroyer is one. Sure, nostalgia help a lot to have me like this one, as a kid I really liked it.
Sure it's campy, but it's fun. The comic book and D&D session ambiance work for me, when taken for what it is: a kid adventure film. Watching it back on a sunday afternoon with peanut butter sandwiches in pajama after the saturday morning cartoons is great :P

#6 Ironhand

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 12:52 AM

Yeah, I would call CtD Saturday morning cartoon, peanut-butter-and-jelly Conan. True, it lacked any horrible anti-Conan plot devices, like a childhood spent in slavery, and an education by civilized masters. But, as mentioned above, it stole random story snatches from real REH stories, saddled Conan with a merry band of misfits, turned Thoth-Amon into a pitiful old man and mixed him up with two other villains, and showed Conan getting falling down drunk from a single bottle of wine, and in hostile territory at that. Kevin Sorbo's Hercules was a better Conan: he drank two centaurs under the table.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
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#7 matsellah

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 02:25 AM

Let's not forget Conan getting swung around by his ankles....

Or that Grace Jones desperately needed a thong.

Kieran, take heart. In the past, a post such as this would have caused many a flagon to be launched smashing into the hearth, followed by raucuous calls for your head. Hang in there. :D
"Their present king is the most renowned warrior among the western nations. He is an outlander, an adventurer who seized the crown by force during a time of civil strife, strangling King Namedides with his own hands, upon the very throne. His name is Conan, and no man can stand before him in battle." ~ Orastes, 'The Hour Of The Dragon'

"Damned degenerates!" ~ Conan 'Xuthal Of The Dusk'

#8 Nial_the_Smith

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 03:35 AM

Keep in mind, Conan the Destroyer was written by Robert Jordan. Anyone who read it, will acknowledge the vast differences between the book and the movie. I did enjoy the film, but it is in no way as good as barbarian.

#9 Ring-Haunter

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 04:29 AM

Keep in mind, Conan the Destroyer was written by Robert Jordan. Anyone who read it, will acknowledge the vast differences between the book and the movie. I did enjoy the film, but it is in no way as good as barbarian.

Wait a minute! Jordan wrote the novelization of CtD; the story didn?t originate with him. The differences between the two reflect the fact that Jordan wrote the novelization based on an earlier version of the script that changed during shooting. Jordan just wrote his book based on what was handed him.

If CtB was a John Milius film, than CtD is a Dino de Laurentiis a film; it has his silliness all over it, and I don't think director Richard Fleicscher had much to say about it. It really is a producer?s film, and I think most of what I don?t like about it comes from de Laurtentiis?s preferred style (think Orca and the atrocious 1976 remake of King Kong)
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#10 Primeval

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 10:35 AM

But, but.... the American Movie Classics channel shows CTD, so it MUST be a classic movie, right?

Actually, the fact that they do show it just proves what damage has been done to the character through the films - that is what the general public thinks Conan is.

"Roll on me like a flood, now, if ye dare! Before your viper fangs drink my life I will reap your multitudes like ripened barley - of your severed heads will I build a tower and of your mangled corpses will I rear up a wall!" - Bran Mak Morn in "Worms of the Earth"


#11 Primeval

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 10:37 AM

Keep in mind, Conan the Destroyer was written by Robert Jordan. Anyone who read it, will acknowledge the vast differences between the book and the movie. I did enjoy the film, but it is in no way as good as barbarian.

The original screenplay was by Roy Thomas (with help from someone else I think, Gerry Conway maybe?) and the story as he envisioned it is in the Marvel graphic novel The Horn of Azoth. Obviously the final version was changed quite a bit from what Thomas wrote.

"Roll on me like a flood, now, if ye dare! Before your viper fangs drink my life I will reap your multitudes like ripened barley - of your severed heads will I build a tower and of your mangled corpses will I rear up a wall!" - Bran Mak Morn in "Worms of the Earth"


#12 dr Bo

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 03:31 PM

If CtB was a John Milius film, than CtD is a Dino de Laurentiis a film; it has his silliness all over it, and I don't think director Richard Fleicscher had much to say about it.

That was I always think as well, Ring-Haunter.
Fleischer is a very good director, he made some outstanding Sci-fi and adventure great, such as Soylent Green, Tora! Tora! Tora!, Fantastic Voyage, The Vikings (a must see of northern barbarians fan), 20000 Leagues Under the Sea and so on.

The Destroyer is sure a silly big fun, a grand kid adventure spectacle with a matinee atmosphere which is indeed in the vein of a Dino De Laurentis production. Think of Army of Darkness, Silver Bullet, Flash Gordon, Barbarella and Diabolik, and of course Red Sonya (obviously the third Conan movie, with a name change that don't fool anybody!).

Or that Grace Jones desperately needed a thong.


I think she was one of the good point of this flick. Her African statue traits, striking body surely made for a cool looking amazon. Sure, her part was badly written in part, and Conan didn't needed a bunch of companion, yet she was cool to see going.

#13 Orkin

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 07:07 PM

The Destroyer is sure a silly big fun, a grand kid adventure spectacle with a matinee atmosphere which is indeed in the vein of a Dino De Laurentis production. Think of Army of Darkness, Silver Bullet, Flash Gordon, Barbarella and Diabolik, and of course Red Sonya (obviously the third Conan movie, with a name change that don't fool anybody!).

And King Kong.
? ?When I can not stand alone, it will be time to die,? he mumbled, through mashed lips. ?But I?d like a flagon of wine.?
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#14 Ring-Haunter

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Posted 14 January 2005 - 07:17 PM

Fleischer is a very good director, he made some outstanding Sci-fi and adventure great, such as Soylent Green, Tora! Tora! Tora!, Fantastic Voyage, The Vikings (a must see of northern barbarians fan), 20000 Leagues Under the Sea and so on.

Yeah, I agree that Fleischer did some great things in his heydey: 20,000 Leagues under the Sea is one of the great science fiction classics, and all the other films you mention are damned good. But in the 80s Fleischer ended up with a lot of subpar material and too many de Laurentiis flicks.
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#15 Guest_mike616_*

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 02:46 AM

CTD huh, well it's....interesting(kinda like a car wreck,) :blink:

#16 Strom

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 04:17 AM

This scenario can sum up CTD:

Old Thoth has a plan. He is going to create this magical creature that cannot be hurt by regular weapons. Now, this creature will be big with a very scary mask..err face. He will have this creature fight Conan. The only way the creature (and thru him - Thoth) can be hurt is if one of the mirrors in Thoth's small ass room are broken. In his great wisdom - Thoth had the battle between the huge Creature and the very big Conan takes place in said small room where - by chance - Conan's sword breaks a mirror! So close! Thoth's plan almost worked except for the stupidity of having those big guys fight in a small room! You can almost hear Chris Farley:

"Big guy fighting in little room" :P

CTD is watch able only for Olivia D'Abo. :wub:

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#17 Cadogan

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 05:47 AM

I find Conan the Destroyer so disappointing because it actually had potential to be good. I'm sure we've all read Jordan's novelization, and it had me very excited to see this film. But bad directing, wooden acting, stupid sidekicks, and a host of other problems ruined what could have been a decent fantasy film. In the end, it reminds me of the Hercules TV series. Watchable, but ultimately forgetable. And definately not anything like the source material.

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#18 Ring-Haunter

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 06:44 AM

Old Thoth has a plan. He is going to create this magical creature that cannot be hurt by regular weapons. Now, this creature will be big with a very scary mask..err face. He will have this creature fight Conan. The only way the creature (and thru him - Thoth) can be hurt is if one of the mirrors in Thoth's small ass room are broken. In his great wisdom - Thoth had the battle between the huge Creature and the very big Conan takes place in said small room where - by chance - Conan's sword breaks a mirror! So close! Thoth's plan almost worked except for the stupidity of having those big guys fight in a small room! You can almost hear Chris Farley:

You see, it wasn't Thoth-amon, it was acutally Dr. Evil?doing things by the supervillain handbook: make sure that the object that can save hero is within reaching distance. 'Cause, you know, supervillains have to give the hero a fair chance. It's, you know, in the contract. :D
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#19 lbaron

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 07:46 AM

Not a very good film and it didn't carry the 'class' that CtB had but it was more true to the spirit of Howard. He wrote simple high adventure stories and that is what CtD was. I was promised high adventure at the begining of CtB and I didn't get it. CtD gave me more chases more fights more magic more imagery. Yes, it turns silly but there were long periods in CtB that were just static, scenes that just sat there. CtD was more fun and it has more style. It, in spirit, not in fact is truer to what Howard put on the page.

#20 Strom

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:02 AM

You see, it wasn't Thoth-amon, it was acutally Dr. Evil?doing things by the supervillain handbook: make sure that the object that can save hero is within reaching distance. 'Cause, you know, supervillains have to give the hero a fair chance. It's, you know, in the contract.  :D

Ahhh yes...makes sense the screenplay was written by Thomas and Conway - maybe they mixed up the plot with an Avengers story. If you read that contract closely Thoth's fake scar and absurd costume makes more sense too. :D

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