22 replies to this topic

[deuce]

CONAN THE GLADIATOR
by Leonard Carpenter. Tor 1995.
[ Conan as a 'circus wildman' + a hired 'gladiator /thug']

This whole story is trivial, limp, boring + ridiculous.
it features weak, wimpy Stygians allowing Corinthians [in roman style] to run their capital city like an ancient 'las vegas' entertainment complex.
this book bears NO resemblance to 'Conan', or Hyboria, Stygia, or even 'sword + sorcery'!

conan is unbelievably naive, dull, slow + stupid in this very silly wimpy farce. there are NO supernatural elements + NO magic /sorcery at all in this dull, pathetic, pointless tale!

the 'climax' is just a big accidental stadium collapse + flood, while a confused silly conan tries to avoid fighting anyone!?!

rating= 0 of 5. a complete waste of paper! avoid.
[ WORST attempt yet. except for 'Relentless' by r green ]
-
i must use carpenters own words as i ask -
" by Crom's scratchy linen clout!"
'why?..why...WHY ?!?...'

WARNING ! . this book will damage your... -
--

This is BEYOND "crap on a crap cracker" status. I simply can't understand why some people like Carpenter.

I'm glad he hasn't had a writing career in the last 20yrs.

The novel takes a pi$$ on Howard's conception of Conan and the Hyborian Age in almost every conceivable way.

[Boot]

CONAN THE GLADIATOR
by Leonard Carpenter. Tor 1995.
[ Conan as a 'circus wildman' + a hired 'gladiator /thug']

This whole story is trivial, limp, boring + ridiculous.
it features weak, wimpy Stygians allowing Corinthians [in roman style] to run their capital city like an ancient 'las vegas' entertainment complex.
this book bears NO resemblance to 'Conan', or Hyboria, Stygia, or even 'sword + sorcery'!

conan is unbelievably naive, dull, slow + stupid in this very silly wimpy farce. there are NO supernatural elements + NO magic /sorcery at all in this dull, pathetic, pointless tale!

the 'climax' is just a big accidental stadium collapse + flood, while a confused silly conan tries to avoid fighting anyone!?!

rating= 0 of 5. a complete waste of paper! avoid.
[ WORST attempt yet. except for 'Relentless' by r green ]
-
i must use carpenters own words as i ask -
" by Crom's scratchy linen clout!"
'why?..why...WHY ?!?...'

WARNING ! . this book will damage your... -
--

This is BEYOND "crap on a crap cracker" status. I simply can't understand why some people like Carpenter.

I've read Conan pastiche authors that I thought were worse, that's for sure. Roland Green comes to mind. So does Steve Perry. Both of those guys totally suck when it comes to writing a Conan yarn.

Carpenter...? I don't like him. It's not that I think he's bad--his writing to me is just, well, boring. There's no emotion in it. I feel like I'm reading a Conan RPG supplement--not an engrossing novel.

I like his situations and stories OK. From my opinion, the guy just doesn't do anything interesting with it. The writing is just not there. I much prefer Lin Carter, L. Sprague de Camp, Robert Jordan, and a few others over Carpenter.

I'd put Roland Green in the "F" category, giving them a failing grade. Carpenter...I'd put him in the "D" category. It passes, but just barely. And, I'd realy rather read the C grade stuff and better.

[Almuric]

Carpenter's pastiches always fail for me. He starts off with promising ideas, sometimes working in areas of Conan's career that haven't been chronicled much . . . and fumbles it.