21 replies to this topic

[Bighammer]

I've been waxing philosophical the last couple days, had a birthday yesterday and am starting to feel my years, I guess. But, this morning, while I was working out, I was watching some talking heads discuss Brett Favre's inevitable end as a great QB and my mind drifted over my life and ended up thinking about Conan.

I don't know much about most of you who post here, but in my younger days, I lived a pretty lawless life; womanizing, drinking, fighting. Overall, I think Conan and I would have probably found ourselves sharing a table, some wine and all the wenches we could pile on our laps. But, eventually, I outgrew that and settled down. I never really forgot who I was or what I'd been taught as a boy. I still have that edge to me that makes friends or family cringe when they see someone start to get on my nerves, but overall, my daughters have domesticated me. Bear with me please, because this may get lengthy.

Over the years, I saw a lot of the people I'd run with change, some earlier, some later, but almost all drifted from that wild lifestyle. I was probably the one who held on the longest to it, but by the end it just wasn't what it once had been. Of course, that's the natural order, and I'm sure all of you have seen it in your own lives. It's not that big a deal, until you consider guys who never quit, who maintain that level of intensity til the day they die. I remember the story about Joe Louis beating the hell out of two kids who tried to mug him as he was catching a cab, late in his life.

So, my question for you is this, we know that Conan's intensity never diminished, but we also know that he never lost sight of what he'd been taught as a boy in Cimmeria. Those values were much harsher and encouraged the life that he led, but they also made him a little tired and sickened by politics and the niceties of civilization. I don't really have a question here, I'm just interested in hearing the views of other fans here since, I feel that despite our differing backgrounds, we all tend to have the same general underlying attitudes. Like I said earlier, I'm feeling philosophic and bored, Humor me

[Swiftsteel]

I know what you mean, man. A very good friend of mine who I grew up with died recently of a brain-tumour. He was only 31. Obviously this has been something of a catalyst for myself and the rest of my crew to do a little reflecting as well. After all, none of us are now in our 30's what we were at 20, or 18, or 16. If it were all to end tomorrow you have to ask yourself...has it been a decent enough ride?

As far as growing older and changing is concerned I've come to the conclusion that it's less about 'losing the energy' than it is about how you 'divert the energy'. In other words, don't concern yourself so much with how certain trappings of youth begin to fall by the wayside as they are just that - trappings. On the inside you are still the same basic you that you've always been. With age however you just instinctively channel the various aspects of yourself in different directions. All of that energy spent womanizing, brawling, and otherwise raising hell is still there...only now it is the same level of intensity that you put into fatherhood, career, home-life, and family. And there's abso-frikkin'-lutely nothing wrong with that at all. I have a feeling you still get your proverbial licks in when you can! And I'll also bet that if it came down to it, you could still weave the steel-wall with the best of 'em.

[grim cimmerian]

waxing philosophical huh? must have been a big birthday with one of those zeros behind it hmmm? I am 28 and look ominously at 30 because I have not accomplished goals that I wanted before now. Its sure is funny how as a youngster, high schoolers seemed like adults (I certainly thought I was in high school) and in your 20's 30 and 40 seem a long ways off, but I'll bet when you are 50 or older a 30 year old still seems like a new pup.

I have always been an active person and rambunctious. When I was young I constantly got into trouble and tested myself physically. I was proud of my death-defying feats on the jungle gym, I would probably yell at a youngster for those same stunts now. I constantly had nose bleeds, gooseeggs, scraped knees and elbows, and wicked gashes and bruises. Surprisingly I have never broke any bones (well not mine anyways) but I am the king of stitches (around 200 or so.) I have broken the cartilege in my nose on at least two occasions once in football, once in a tournament.

As I matured physically in my junior high and High school years, the playgound sqabbles had turned into serious fights. I was in many (I enjoyed it and had a chip on my shoulder I guess.) My twin brother and I fought others together on many occasions and quickly developed a school wide reputation for toughness. Strangely enough I believe that it had some sort of gunfighter affect where I actually got into more fights because I was a fighter "so you the local quick draw in these parts?" Every kid that thought he was tough got compared or matched against one or both of us. (brawls with multiple combatants are more fun than mono e mono, besides me and my brother fight real well together.) I am lucky I managed not to get into trouble with the authorities more than I did.

I got a long term (4 years is a long time in school!) girlfriend and decided to take martial arts. Both had a mellowing effect on my nature (I was never an angry person, always calm and calculated) but I got into less fights and I walked away from more situations and stopped looking for them. My physical outlet had become martial arts and I participated in many tournements and eventually started fighting full contact. Then my fiance dumped me (long story, my fault.) and I stopped teaching Tae Kwon Do (tough to be upbeat around kids when you are down) and retreated into the mountains.

The mountains have always been my solace. My friends and I went camping twice a month, week long backpacking once a year, rockclimbing 3-4 times a week, hiking peaks on any free day and hunting and shooting trips when ever we could. To steal a quote from Legends from the Fall, "the bear inside me was sleeping." I went into a self indulging phase where I was looking for casual relationships and not emotional ones and dated many women, partied, and made a general nuisance of myself. after a couple years of debauchery I evaluated my life and decided I needed a change so I quit my job and moved to a college town to take up studies.

I have been a stuggling student ever since (both financially and academically) (I am smart but rarely apply myself.) I wish I was married and had started a family by now. Sometimes I wish I hadn't quit my well paying job to go to school, but my source of income was also the source of my recklessness. I have been meek around women lately because I am more serious about any relationship now and slightly ashamed of my poverty. I have been in this rut for a while now, still trying to pay for classes and graduate, getting nowhere with relationships. It has made me revaluate my priorities quite a bit. I wish I hadn't been so much of a wild card in my youth. My friends and even their younger siblings have homes and kids, where I still live alone in an apartment or move from one relative to another. I think maybe that reading fiction helps escape the ho hum reality of my life.

I think the intensity or "the bear" in my life may be asleep for good. Maybe Conan had some self reflection that he decide to grab the crown while he had the chance, maybe old wounds both mental and physical pained him more often.

[grim cimmerian]

Here is a little age thing I have come up with (Its bound to piss a few folks off but oh well)
You can determine how relatively old you are by multiplying your age and if people are still alive at your figure then you are not old. for instance:

under 10 you can multiply your age by up to 10 and people are still alive
this means you are a child
under 20 you can still multiply your age by 5 and some individuals are still alive
this means you are very young
under 30 you can triple your age and some folks still kick around
this means you are young and in your prime
around 40 you can still double your age so you are half way
this means you are approaching middle age (now nobody really knows what middle age is until they are dead and can cut their age in half)
now it gets trickier you can no longer call your self young if you cannot double your age and the majority of people are still alive at that figure.
at 45 you can still double your age but few live to 90 years old.
at 50 you still can double your age but just barely as there are few 100+ year olds
This means you are getting old
at 60 you cannot double your age anymore as noone reaches 120 years
this means you are old you have lived twice as long as someone in their prime
At 75 you have lived 3 times as long as some one in their prime
you are very old
At 80 you are approaching realistic life expectancy and have had a long life
you are twice as old as a middle age person now. you are elderly.
at 90 you have cheated death or lived a healthy/lucky life
you are venerable
If you make it to 100 you probably have several generations of posterity and have lived as long as is possible
you are ancient
beyond a hundred you are strange, a medical wonder, a living relic
you are antique

Edited by grim cimmerian, 04 October 2005 - 08:32 PM.

[grim cimmerian]

Now of course my aunt hates my scale as she is in her 50's. she says she is middle aged.I say no you are not you aren't going to live past 100!
her philosophy is that you are only as old as you feel. she often says "age is a matter of mind if you don't mind it don't matter"
Hogwash I say I am a scientist and you are imperically old when people look at you and say you are old regardless of how you feel.
She counters with she knows people who are 40 who act old and people who are 60 who are still very active people. A few at 90 still climb on ladders to prune trees and so forth. I agree that your mind does have alot to do with how you feel, but we will never agree on who's old until I am probably arguing with my kids or grandkids.

Edited by grim cimmerian, 04 October 2005 - 08:42 PM.

[budgie]

personally Im gonna die at the end of my life and not a minute sooner

budgie

[Bighammer]

Good stuff, and interesting takes on it, guys. It's not really a mortality thing on my side, so much as a reflection. I'm in better shape now than I have been since my playing days, I workout daily and have regained much of the discipline I let slip by the wayside for several years, so it's not a matter of fear of dying or health concerns. Hell, dead is dead anyway, right? Not like we're going to spend a whole hell of a lot of time complaining about it when we are

I would say this, though, both of you touched on something I've thought about many times. My hands and forearms, and to a lesser extent, my face bear the scars of my mis-spent youth and sometimes it does make me feel a little out of place in certain company. I'd chalk that up as another one of the facets of Conan's appeal to all of us-- to be a part of a world where past mis-deeds aren't looked at ascance.

[Mikey_C]

I listened to a tape of Beowulf the other day, and realised that when he dies fighting the dragon as an 'old' man - he probably was around my age (41). Makes you think. There's things you can't get away with as you get older, and things you don't want to do any more. Some of those are the same things, others not. And then there's new stuff you might want, like security in a long-term relationship, and you have to weigh that against the appeal of playing around.

So I guess as you get older, a lot of it's about compromise. I'm sure Conan had to face all this as King - all those demands - and at some point the people would want a legitimate heir as well (although I guess its always been pretty much accepted that kings can have mistresses - look at Prince Charles!) Perhaps this is why so many of us prefer the young Conan as their fantasy character, sailing the seven seas looking out for the next woman and the next battle without a care in the world! I don't think those urges ever die...

[matsellah]

(although I guess its always been pretty much accepted that kings can have mistresses - look at Prince Charles!)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In his case, that would also include ... misterers?

BOT;

Now that I'm at the halfway point (according to Grim's scale), the most common recurring reflection I have is when I see someone do something physical and think to myself "hey, I used to be able to do that."

The reason I think it, is because I've already learned that if I say it out loud, I'm either greeted with looks of scepticism or outright verbal mocking (depending on who I'm with and how much we've had to drink). I think this is the biggest hurdle as the years progress; learning to deal with the fact that you're not as young as you used to be.

I've got a 3 year old son. When he's 15, I'll be 56. Now I've got to do some serious planning so there's still something for him to awe over when he begins to realize what it means to be a man and looks to me for an example. The physical abilities will be greatly diminished.

Now there's some contemplating.

[Kortoso]

Take more out of life than it takes out of you.

I think that's how Conan made it to old age.

[Kortoso]

Here's another one, this time from our only barbarian President:

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the
strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done
better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood and who, at
worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his
place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither
victory or defeat.

-THEODORE ROOSEVELT

[Mikey_C]

I'll try and remember that one!

[Bighammer]

Nice one, Korotso. I've always been partial to that one, myself. Roosevelt was an amazing man.

[Ironhand]

Well, I'm already at an age where nobody lives to be twice as old as me, unless it's my Mom, who is 92 and the envy of people half her age.

When I watched The Crow (the original movie), I watched Brandon Lee climbing and jumping around, and I thought "Gee, I hope I'm in that good a shape when I'm dead!"

[PainBrush]

AHHH !! Will you whelps quit yer whining & finish yer milk !!!!


hahaha of course I'm joking hold your fire ! There's way too much in the posts above to contemplate on a day when I fortunately don't have those things in mind as I do way too often . Just want to say that I was middle-aged at the ripe old age of 16 . Most of my friends from child-hood are dead , insane , in jail , playing scarface or paying scarface . I've often felt like the last man standing from a sad lost generation . I guess it's just where I grew up . Major nihilistic jaded cynical kid who never expected much less planned for living into my 3rd decade . Ever get that goose-bumpy feeling watching a movie where someone who acts like a major a**hole almost dies & then gets a second chance & sees the light & quits being such an anchor ? I've felt like that most of my adult life . Reading about Conan as a kid gave me an idea of 'one' way to live like a man . A lot of other things over the years gave me the idea that I should be a 'better' man .

[Tommy]

The Man in the Mirror

If you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you King for a day
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say

For it isn't a man's father, mother or wife
Whose judgement upon him must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in his life
Is the Man staring back from the glass

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear up to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the Man in the glass is your friend

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the Man in the glass


I have no idea where that's from, or who wrote it. It's perhaps one of the only good things I took away from a job I did once. I like it.

Tommy.

[Cormac]

I'm a rambler, I'm a gambler
I'm a long way from home
And if you don't like me
Then leave me alone

I'll eat when I'm hungry
I'll drink when I'm dry
And if the moonshine don't kill me,
I'll live till I die!

--traditional Irish song

[jak]

Here's another one, this time from our only barbarian President:

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the
strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done
better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood and who, at
worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his
place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither
victory or defeat.

-THEODORE ROOSEVELT

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have this quote from Teddy on my writing desk at home. I've come across no better quote that sums up a man's struggles through life, whatever they may be.

Edited by jak, 06 October 2005 - 07:26 PM.

[Starbuck]

Here is a similar quote by Theodore that I also enjoy:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much, nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat."

[Kortoso]

Ready for more?

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence