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Hyborian Limmericks + Rhymes

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#541 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 09:21 AM

Well your praise is enough to make a guy blush :wub: Thank you very kindly! I do hope to spur everyone's creativity, and hope to see more of your gems here. It's awesome to find a creative place to share with like minded folks :) I haven't written for a bit, but now my creativity is sparked, in fact I wrote a few limericks (a favorite pastime) yesterday, one of which follows:

There was a young lad from Cimmeria,
who aroused quite the female hysteria
His latest travails,
made them unsheathe red nails,
when he bedded a lass named Valeria!

..and a question for the Sorceress- would a vampire poem be considered fantasy enough to include here? I seem to recall that you might enjoy something like that. It's pretty tongue-in-cheek, but if it's allowed I'll post it. :D

Hey that limerick is superb. Thanks very much.

Ooh I do so adore a poet who can write serious stuff AND clever, fun limericks too.

This 17,000 years old Sorceress-thing is very impressed and gagging for more.

> Please do post your vampire poem in here.
Your own Fantasy and supernatural rhymes are welcome in here. [ they do not always have to be of Hyborian/Howardian theme or contents. ]
--
You have re-sparked my interests, in a great way.
I will try to find some time to dust off my cobwebs and do some new limericks...
-- :)

~~~~~
The Sorceress was enspelled by his words
Her heart soared and fluttered like birds.
His rhymes did enthrall
through her hot crystal ball.
She wanted seconds, and even some thirds.
~~~~~

#542 TomByCrom

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 10:10 PM

Jeez you sure know how to make a fella feel welcome :wub: Your limerick was terrific! Seconds, nay, thirds? Why I am yours to command, milady :D

this started off as song lyrics, but turned into this...

"Midnight Snack"

Persistent knocking at my door
A guest I'd just as soon ignore
"What don't you want me anymore?"
just smiled and let me kiss her

She smelled of cigarettes and gin
"Well aren't you going to let me in?"
So cold and wet, where had she been?
I told her that I missed her

"You look like hell, your hair's a mess,
I think you need to get some rest"
"Please, won't you fix me some breakfast?
I'll get sleep when I'm dead!"

Was fixing her a midnight snack
when suddenly there at my back
she drug her teeth across my neck
and whispered one word "Bed"

Told myself , "not going to let her"
"Babe I can't get any wetter!"
All in all, should have known better
Then she gave my boys a squeeze

Battle lost, with inhibition
naughty bits my sole ambition
Felt her true nocturnal mission
when she bit me earnestly

I smelled damp earth, and rotting meat
the sharp white smile, the bloody sheets
Her essence shared made me complete
I am hers, immortally

So now I'm feeling dead inside
she took my soul for one last ride
I'll love and hate my vampire bride
The Rest of Eternity

...ok now the thirds :P

Two Shemite thieves once tried to steal
Conan's purse as he sat to a meal
filled their craven bellies
not with jams and jellies
but a foot of good Hyrkanian steel! :blink:

Edited by TomByCrom, 08 March 2012 - 02:47 AM.


#543 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 11:17 AM

Jeez you sure know how to make a fella feel welcome :wub: Your limerick was terrific! Seconds, nay, thirds? Why I am yours to command, milady :D

this started off as song lyrics, but turned into this...

"Midnight Snack"

Persistent knocking at my door
A guest I'd just as soon ignore
"What don't you want me anymore?"
just smiled and let me kiss her

She smelled of cigarettes and gin
"Well aren't you going to let me in?"
So cold and wet, where had she been?
I told her that I missed her

"You look like hell, your hair's a mess,
I think you need to get some rest"
"Please, won't you fix me some breakfast?
I'll get sleep when I'm dead!"

Was fixing her a midnight snack
when suddenly there at my back
she drug her teeth across my neck
and whispered one word "Bed"

Told myself , "not going to let her"
"Babe I can't get any wetter!"
All in all, should have known better
Then she gave my boys a squeeze

Battle lost, with inhibition
naughty bits my sole ambition
Felt her true nocturnal mission
when she bit me earnestly

I smelled damp earth, and rotting meat
the sharp white smile, the bloody sheets
Her essence shared made me complete
I am hers, immortally

So now I'm feeling dead inside
she took my soul for one last ride
I'll love and hate my vampire bride
The Rest of Eternity

...ok now the thirds :P

Two Shemite thieves once tried to steal
Conan's purse as he sat to a meal
filled their craven bellies
not with jams and jellies
but a foot of good Hyrkanian steel! :blink:

A vampire fantasy
and
a Conan limerick.
Yum yum, what a delightful bloody feast for my hungry poetical palate.

Thanks very much, again. :)
--
Your primal rhymes have unleashed a deep dark craving in me, which has not been satisfied for many months of our Hyborian calendar.
I shall search the cold meat room of my deepest dungeon kitchen...
and see what morsel speaks to me from the chopping slab...
[ if they speak in rhyme, they may be of some possible use to me ? ]

...a half cooked new limerick-thingy may follow soon...:D

#544 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 11:39 AM

~~~~~
The Feculent Tavern in Nemedia
nowhere else was more bawdy or seedier.
The big fat owner called Graves
stole the finest dancing slaves.
Only the huge King of Turan was greedier.
~~~~~
..
[ > lurkers tip: for a more dirty chuckle look up meaning of feculent ]

#545 TomByCrom

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 11:14 PM

heh heh. feculent, well played and written :D
here's the remaining one from my sudden inspirational burst the other day

There once was a frost giant's daughter
whose cold blood made Conan's run hotter
Led the chase to distract
whilst her brothers attacked
but t'was they who were lambs to the slaughter!

...hope this keeps my smoking heart from being served on your dungeon table :unsure:

Edited by TomByCrom, 11 March 2012 - 06:23 AM.


#546 Ironhand

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Posted 10 March 2012 - 09:41 AM

You have a great talent, sir.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#547 TomByCrom

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 06:22 AM

Well, that's damn high praise coming from you sir, I just read your treatment of "Frost Giant's Daughter", and absolutely loved it! I salute you!
(doffs hat while deeply bowing, then scurries off to write more) :)

#548 deuce

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 06:37 AM

Well, that's damn high praise coming from you sir, I just read your treatment of "Frost Giant's Daughter", and absolutely loved it! I salute you!
(doffs hat while deeply bowing, then scurries off to write more) :)


Good stuff, Tom! :D

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#549 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 06:01 PM

heh heh. feculent, well played and written :D
here's the remaining one from my sudden inspirational burst the other day

There once was a frost giant's daughter
whose cold blood made Conan's run hotter
Led the chase to distract
whilst her brothers attacked
but t'was they who were lambs to the slaughter!

...hope this keeps my smoking heart from being served on your dungeon table :unsure:

Another excellent Conan limerick.

Thankyou so much. :)

Hope you find some time and inspiration for more, please?
--
[ i may have to squat and see if I can squeeze out another one... soon... :D
er, i mean give birth to a rhyme. ]

#550 TomByCrom

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Posted 13 March 2012 - 10:33 PM

Thanks for the kind welcome deuce!

Sorceress: your never know what might inspire me... heh heh heh ;)

Inspired when our fair Buxom squatted
which made us, not tongue tied, but knotted
our minds were so addled
by the time she was saddled
By Crom, she had left us...besotted! :blink:

#551 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 11:28 AM

Thanks for the kind welcome deuce!

Sorceress: your never know what might inspire me... heh heh heh ;)

Inspired when our fair Buxom squatted
which made us, not tongue tied, but knotted
our minds were so addled
by the time she was saddled
By Crom, she had left us...besotted! :blink:

:D . - Another great one.

Oh I do adore a clever, cheeky bawdy bard... and poems about me.
Many thanks and busty chuckles.
--
I love to ride... horses, big wolves, king lions, killer whales, summoned winged beasties, and huge Satha-like serpents...

...dost any inspire thy golden quill, my lord ? :)

#552 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 09:38 AM

~~~~~
A three-horned old Queen of Norse-Celt
saw a horseman, naked but his belt.
When she spied Conan's pride
she felt like a young bride.
And made the Princess describe how it felt.
~~~~~

#553 TomByCrom

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 01:10 AM

~~~~~
A three-horned old Queen of Norse-Celt
saw a horseman, naked but his belt.
When she spied Conan's pride
she felt like a young bride.
And made the Princess describe how it felt.
~~~~~


very nice, good rythm :D
which of course inspires me to compose yet another:

When Bux rides a winged Serpent of Set
it's a sight that you'll not soon forget
the beast under her spell,
she rides au naturel
now, how lucky can one Set's pet get? :P

#554 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 21 March 2012 - 08:13 PM

When Bux rides a winged Serpent of Set
it's a sight that you'll not soon forget
the beast under her spell,
she rides au naturel
now, how lucky can one Set's pet get? :P

Another great one about Bux/me. Thankyou so much. :)
You did well to squeeze 'au naturel' in there.

You wouldn't believe the things I have to do for Set, just to borrow 1 of his Pets for a night.
- :D
----
So you have inspired me to do this...
..
~~~~~
A Witch-beauty loves to ride in the buff
but the wind tries to blow up your chuff.
It's the only high way to go
when you have a sorcerous glow.
And a bucking beast can get quite rough.
~~~~~

#555 TomByCrom

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:36 PM

Very nice!

Back to quill and parchment for me! You sure know how to keep a guy busy :P

Hey, wait a minute! Where's all the rest of you poetical types? Please share your creations soon!!!

Edited by TomByCrom, 25 March 2012 - 07:38 PM.


#556 Sardonikus

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 09:52 PM

I offer up this darkly sorcerous rhyme for the "enjoyment" of my fellow Howardians:

Malison (the Warlock Scorned)

Hecate, Black Hecate!
I crave a baneful boon of thee!
Pray weave a fell and deadly spell
‘Gainst her - who is the death of me!

First summon forth a devil wind,
Birthed shrieking in a woeful waste.
Ifrit-goaded, fly in haste
To scathe and scar the flawless face!

Thereupon, a measured spite
Admixed with tears of crocodile;
Libation from a leaden vial
To purge away the mocking smile!

Forget ye not the eyes – her eyes
That burn me in cerulean light.
O conjure now a cloak of night
And blind her blue and blasting sight!

Hecate, Sweet Hecate!
I pray you – save your last for me!
O spare ye naught and send me aught
To banish her from memory!


(Want to see more? http://strelnikov72.deviantart.com/)
Sardonikus vs. REH - All the torment and half the talent! :wacko:

#557 Ironhand

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 07:37 AM

Man, that is dark!
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#558 Buxom Sorceress

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 08:50 PM

I offer up this darkly sorcerous rhyme for the "enjoyment" of my fellow Howardians:

Malison (the Warlock Scorned)

Hecate, Black Hecate!
I crave a baneful boon of thee!
Pray weave a fell and deadly spell
‘Gainst her - who is the death of me!

First summon forth a devil wind,
Birthed shrieking in a woeful waste.
Ifrit-goaded, fly in haste
To scathe and scar the flawless face!

Thereupon, a measured spite
Admixed with tears of crocodile;
Libation from a leaden vial
To purge away the mocking smile!

Forget ye not the eyes – her eyes
That burn me in cerulean light.
O conjure now a cloak of night
And blind her blue and blasting sight!

Hecate, Sweet Hecate!
I pray you – save your last for me!
O spare ye naught and send me aught
To banish her from memory!

(Want to see more? http://strelnikov72.deviantart.com/)

Hi, and welcome to this deep creepy crypt of fantasy treasures in rhyme. :)

That poem is very dark and very good, with great rhyming too.
Thanks very much for sharing it with us all.
More please ?
--
( ...i usually take off my 'face' and put it safely in a magically locked 'safe', for safekeeping while i sleep.
although, i dont know why i bother now, 'cause most of my enemies are toast, and any upcoming 'rivals' shudder when they hear my name, and keep well away from me and my enterprises. ;) }

#559 Sardonikus

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 11:10 PM

Thanks all for the kind words!

I've posted some rhymes here before, but it has admittedly been a while. Unlike the prolific REH, more often than not producing a poem such as this is almost as painful for me as passing a kidney stone. Nevertheless, I will keep trying...

(This last submission was somewhat evocative of REH's "To a Woman" in my mind, and certainly just as dark. Rest assured it is strictly imaginary and does not reflect the actual feelings of any real people!)
Sardonikus vs. REH - All the torment and half the talent! :wacko:

#560 Lunatic

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Posted 08 February 2013 - 03:19 PM

The Legend of Conan

Now fear that day, O´Tyrant
That D-ay of battle and falling from graces
and the return of Conan, barbarian king of forlorn ages

Oceans of time, be crossed that day, O´Tyrant
That long lost legend of forgetful races, return
That long lost crown of iron, that deep and thundereous call...

Victory or Death! By the oath of the sages
It is that D-ay when Tyrants fall...

That is what he said as he was sailing crimson waves
That he would return with different faces
again and again, and again and again...





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