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Just Saw Kull The Conqueror


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#101 Strom

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Posted 18 August 2006 - 12:33 AM


I've said it before and I will say it again - "The Sword and the Sorcerer" is the worst fantasy movie ever made. It blows my mind that S & S receives so much praise while CTB is rocked for every triviality. It's the perfect example of diverse perspectives on the same piece of art. Hawk the Slayer is better than S&S, IMO. You can no more take the magical sword out of S & S then you could Excaliber out of King Arthur's tale.

Thanks. Rant over. B)


Greetings!
Strom,if ye thinks that S&S is the *worst* you got to rent some other hoots! :P How about 'Legend' with what's his name (a Tolkien rip-off by the by) that was Ron Howard(no relation) at his finest,...
Trouble I have is that CTB was *based* on REH,where as S&S was ripped from is cold dark grave,...oh they both were,... :o


To quote Kull:

"Life is that way, Count; one man's bane is another's bliss!"

Otherwise this board would be kinda dull. :lol:

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#102 Kull1964

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Posted 18 August 2006 - 01:12 PM


I've said it before and I will say it again - "The Sword and the Sorcerer" is the worst fantasy movie ever made. It blows my mind that S & S receives so much praise while CTB is rocked for every triviality. It's the perfect example of diverse perspectives on the same piece of art. Hawk the Slayer is better than S&S, IMO. You can no more take the magical sword out of S & S then you could Excaliber out of King Arthur's tale.

Thanks. Rant over. B)


Greetings!
Strom,if ye thinks that S&S is the *worst* you got to rent some other hoots! :P How about 'Legend' with what's his name (a Tolkien rip-off by the by) that was Ron Howard(no relation) at his finest,...
Trouble I have is that CTB was *based* on REH,where as S&S was ripped from is cold dark grave,...oh they both were,... :o



Why people who criticize movies often make huge mistakes? Maybe they don't have the faintest idea what they're talking about... <_< Legend is a Ridley Scott's film, and a great one too! Maybe you are talking about Willow, directed by Ron Howard (that was pretty weak, actually... and a Tolkien's rip off), but if the "what's his name" you're alluding to is Tom Cruise, then you really mean Legend after all... but the wrong director! :blink:

#103 Guest_Tu for Kull_*

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Posted 18 August 2006 - 05:48 PM

Greetings!

I sit corrected,oh King! :huh:

#104 Ancient Ages

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Posted 19 August 2006 - 06:58 AM

What's wrong with Willow (apart from it being a Tolkien ripoff...)? I thought it was a fun watch.

Legend is awesome. Really moody warped fairy tale.

Never seen S&S. Is it one of those cheesy but fun movies like Beastmaster and Hawk the Slayer, or just plain bad?

#105 Kieran

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Posted 19 August 2006 - 12:42 PM

I have to admit to being a Willow fan. It was like a more fun LOTR.
I haven't seen Legend in years. As far as I remember it has Tim Curry as a big red demon dancing with some elf lady while Tom Cruuise tries to rescue her? I remember liking it at the time, but I'm not sure what I'd make of it now.
Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.

#106 Kull1964

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Posted 19 August 2006 - 03:51 PM

What's wrong with Willow (apart from it being a Tolkien ripoff...)? I thought it was a fun watch.

Legend is awesome. Really moody warped fairy tale.

Never seen S&S. Is it one of those cheesy but fun movies like Beastmaster and Hawk the Slayer, or just plain bad?


Glad you love Legend, it's one of the most misundestood fantasy movie ever (and one of the most original too)!
What's wrong with Willow? Bad acting, bad editing, some poor special effects... but that's not the main problem. The George Lucas' story steal not only from Tolkien (most contemporary fantasy writers do that too!) but from every possible source (The Bible, Omero's Odissey, even Lucas' own Star Wars!). I'm afraid there's nothing truly original in the whole movie... :( but I also know there's worse around, much worse...

#107 Ancient Ages

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Posted 19 August 2006 - 11:58 PM

I'd have to disagree about Willow. Sure it's derivative. First time I watched it at about the age of seven I knew that much. Still, at the time I really didn't care (and truth be told still don't care today). The acting is not the best in the world, Kilmer and the two midgets were a tad annoying, but it's not the worst. It fits the movie. Special effects I thought were pretty good for the time (I still remember that two headed monster thingy with a shudder). There were some cool battle scenes and it had a decent soundtrack. I also think the sets and location shots were underrated. I don't know where they filmed it but some of the locations are just stunning. Really moody, sullen tarns and windswept gibbets, gnarled old forests and demon-haunted forts. That's one of the things I loved about the movie. It was all so bleak (LOTR is too polished in my opinion).

Anyway, maybe it's a case of newly hatched egg syndrome. Willow was one of the first fantasy movies I ever saw and I still remember it with fondness.

Legend I agree is totally underrated. The whole look of that movie is unique. It really feels like a fairy tale (of the Grimm variety) captured on film.

Edited by Ancient Ages, 20 August 2006 - 12:00 AM.


#108 Guest_Tu for Kull_*

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Posted 21 August 2006 - 05:44 PM

Greetings!
Alright you barbarians,....I will give Legend another look,......never liked what's-his-name,that line in MI (you wouldn't like me when I'm angry') ROTF!!! :P

Tu

#109 Dyingculture

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Posted 27 August 2006 - 01:55 AM

Kull, in my estimation, was just the third utter failure to adapt REH's work to the screen. I actually watched the Hercules series back then, and I was already getting tired of Sorbo and the lame, kid-friendly fight scenes that pervaded that show. I hated almost everything about that movie, CTB and CTD were far superior and I'm not too fond of them either. Kull just convinced me that REH's material will never be properly adapted without some sort of visionary, genius director...

The heavy metal soundtrack wasn't necessarily a bad idea, I just think it should've been far less cheesy and a lot more atmospheric and moody. I actually reread the Kull stories immediately after watching the movie, to cleanse myself of the horrible taint.

On a slightly related note, if anyone has seen the show Metalocalypse on Adult Swim, the intro sequence to the second episode, Dethwater, is very Howardian and a thousand times better than any of the REH based movies. It's basically what the Conan animated series should've been, but never had the balls to be.

Also, if I'm not mistaken, the two main actors from Barbarians appeared in a deleted Natural Born Killers scene, where Mickey and Mallory amputate their legs with a chainsaw. The scene was cut partly because the two guys overacted the hell out of it.

Someday, all of us REH fans who have been cheated and deceived by Hollywood will be vindicated.

#110 finmaccool

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Posted 19 September 2006 - 03:00 PM

The sad thing is that as an adaption of Hour of the Dragon/Conan the Conquerer it was actualy much closer than your typical hollywood adaption.
Anybody ever read Tarzan or Hannibal then watch the films?

What you have to remember is that all movies start out equal, in the script stage.
But when it comes to budgeting, production costs and talent, that is where the wheat is seperated from the chaff.
With a bigger budget and a better director it could have been a much better movie. As it was, it was just a low budget adaption of a Howard yarn.

#111 Kortoso

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Posted 19 September 2006 - 04:41 PM

So Kull was Conan and Conan was Kull? :P

#112 Taranaich

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Posted 20 September 2006 - 04:42 PM

Anybody ever read Tarzan or Hannibal then watch the films?


When I was a lad my mum used to read me old Tarzan stories. Even then, I considered the Weismuller jungle call strangely lacking: "As his antagonist came roaring toward him, Lord Greystoke tore his long knife from its sheath, and with an answering challenge as horrid and bloodcurdling as that of the beast he faced, rushed swiftly to meet the attack." Doesn't sound like no yodel to me. <_<

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#113 Mike_The_Barbarian

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 02:38 PM

I've watched the Kull movie. My father taped it when it was on television late one night.

He basically just handed the tape to me along with the words 'I taped this for you. You might like it. It's a bit like Conan and Hawk the Slayer films. It's done by the Robert man you read.'

Haha, just as a side note, I have watched Hawk the Slayer before, and I in no way enjoyed any moment of it!

I watched the film, and all the while I couldn't help asking myself what the written stories were like. I've never read any of the Kull books (partly a lack of knowlage on where to start reading, and the lack of availability).

The thing that got me was that the film itself was not really that good. But I still really liked it because I was trying to imagen what Howard could have done with a story like this! There's a scene when Kull and some other people are in a cave of ice (if I remember rightly) and I just thought Howard would have made that such an amazing part of the story.

The story made me want to read the book (more than before) for the simple fact that I thought the film was quite poor, but could have made a great story in the hands of Howard.

As said before, if the proper skills, budget, props and such were used, this could have been a much better film, but I still found the story in its own right still lacking a bit in certain areas, but that's nothing a few tweaks wouldn't be able to fix. :P
They are the weak and cowardly who, when the enemy is crashing through the front door, will cower in the back room, counting on better men than themselves to make and keep them free.

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#114 slideyfoot

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 09:30 AM

I freely admit I loved Hercules: The Legendary Journeys back when it was on TV, so I watched Kull purely because it had Kevin Sorbo basically playing the same role. Yeah, it was cheesy, but still fairly fun as I don't think it took itself too seriously, just like Hercules. Of course, I had no idea who Kull was at the time, and I've still only read a handful of Howard's Kull stories, so I didn't have the additional baggage of expectation. Fans of a book/comic etc are almost never going to be satisfied by film adaptations, so I much prefer being in the situation where I'm completely unaware of the text - again, thats probably part of the reason I also love the much-maligned Milius film version of Conan, as I saw that long before I read anything by Howard.

Edited by slideyfoot, 28 September 2006 - 09:32 AM.


#115 Eamon

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 01:06 PM

Kull is total rubbish! But very watchable rubbish!

I don't like Hercules or Xena so no bias there. It has a certain harmless charm about it.

I'm also watching Deathstalker at the moment. ooooh, man it sucks.
But although not as charming as Kull, still good for a giggle and there's loads of nudity!
Which is always a good thing!! :)
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#116 slideyfoot

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 01:12 PM

still good for a giggle and there's loads of nudity!
Which is always a good thing!! :)


You reckon? I tend to find it irritating. Nudity is all well and good when its absolutely warranted by the plot, but only very rarely is it ever justified. Most of the time its just chucked in for titillation. Nothing wrong with titillation, but if I want that, I can go watch a porn film: its aggravating when random flesh in a 'non-porn' gets in the way of either the plot, or in the case of a film like Kull, the action.

#117 Eamon

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 01:18 PM

You reckon? I tend to find it irritating. Nudity is all well and good when its absolutely warranted by the plot, but only very rarely is it ever justified. Most of the time its just chucked in for titillation. Nothing wrong with titillation, but if I want that, I can go watch a porn film: its aggravating when random flesh in a 'non-porn' gets in the way of either the plot, or in the case of a film like Kull, the action.


That's the first time I've ever heard nudity being aggravting! :D

I'm talking about watching it in that Mystery Science Theatre way!!
Taking over it a taking the mick!

I don't want to see Deathstalker 2 & 3 put it that way!
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#118 Mikey_C

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 05:01 PM

I'm talking about watching it in that Mystery Science Theatre way!!
Taking over it a taking the mick!

I'm having a bit of a craze for cheesy S&S flicks at the moment. But it does annoy me when I get hold of one and its the MST3K version. They've even done The Sword and the Dragon, which is supposed to be really good! Some folks seem to think that any S&S movie is fair game for a laugh. :angry: In my opinion, if something's bad enough to be good, I don't need to be told where its funny.

Has anyone else seen Conquest? I found it on dvd for ?1 - one weird film! Quite influenced by Quest for Fire, I'd say. Be warned - it does feature a pair of breasts (but not particularly large ones :( ). Personally I don't mind being aggravated by a bit of nudity here and there, but in a lot of these films its entirely gratuitous, so I guess it depends on how seriously you want to take them...
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#119 Mike_The_Barbarian

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 05:42 PM

Haha, have you read what they have for the plot outline for Conquest!?!?!?

Not to knock a film you like (Indeed I've never seen it), but that plot outline makes it sound so bad! ;)

Haha, in a magical land full of magic. In a time of dragons. In a time of heroes. In a time of dragons and heroes, there was a hero with a magic weapon. He set out to rid the evil world of all evil. The final battle against the evil sourcerer is a evil battle which the evil wizard tries to take back the magical sword...evil.

:P
They are the weak and cowardly who, when the enemy is crashing through the front door, will cower in the back room, counting on better men than themselves to make and keep them free.

Obsessed is just a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated!

Pain is weakness leaving the body

#120 Eamon

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Posted 28 September 2006 - 06:26 PM

Whoa! Mikey_C thems some seriously obscure titles there! :)

I've never seen Conquest or The Sword and the Dragon.

I got one for you guys, "Iron Master"!?

Great poster art, lousy film! ;)

Barbarian Queens is on the cheap in HMV and I'm debating about getting it.
It is made by the same talented people as Deathstalker after all! :lol:
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