Jump to content


Photo

King Clonan: Clown Of Iron


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 Ironhand

Ironhand

    The Mad Playwright

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,021 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Saint Louis, MO, USA

Posted 15 September 2010 - 04:58 AM

I encountered a condensation of John Milius' "King Conan: Crown of Iron" at Ain'tItCoolNews. I was so dismayed that I almost immediately sat down and wrote a parody of it (sort of like laughing to keep from crying). In this case, I tried to illustrate what was wrong with Milius' Clonan by inserting the real Conan into the story.

Read at http://scrollsofiron...ys/ironclon.htm
and post responses here. Don't worry about my feelings; I have thick skin, but love to know that someone is reading my stuff.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#2 Taranaich

Taranaich

    Metal Barbarian Dinosaur

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,932 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Bleak Moors of Scotland

Posted 16 September 2010 - 08:04 PM

Ah, the legendary Clown of Iron!

I should say right now that this vicious and wonderful satire is pretty much a direct inspiration for El Ingenioso B?rbaro Rey Konahn de Simaria and its inglorious sequel, El Ingenioso Destructor Rey Konahn de Simaria (hmm, wonder if I should post them in the new fan area?) After my attempts to make a serious integration of Conan the Barbarian into Howard canon fell apart in short order, satire seemed the only option, and the idea of having the "real" Conan make an appearance made its way into the first part. Somehow, it ended up on The Cimmerian blog, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So yes, someone is reading your stuff, Ironhand - and flagrantly stealing being inspired by them!

Robert E. Howard, 1906 - 2006

Sword & Sorcery! Posted Image Posted Image Historical Fiction!
Horror! Posted Image Posted Image Westerns!
Boxing! Posted Image Posted Image Conan!


#3 Ironhand

Ironhand

    The Mad Playwright

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,021 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Saint Louis, MO, USA

Posted 16 September 2010 - 09:08 PM

Ah, the legendary Clown of Iron!

I should say right now that this vicious and wonderful satire is pretty much a direct inspiration for El Ingenioso B?rbaro Rey Konahn de Simaria and its inglorious sequel, El Ingenioso Destructor Rey Konahn de Simaria (hmm, wonder if I should post them in the new fan area?) After my attempts to make a serious integration of Conan the Barbarian into Howard canon fell apart in short order, satire seemed the only option, and the idea of having the "real" Conan make an appearance made its way into the first part. Somehow, it ended up on The Cimmerian blog, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So yes, someone is reading your stuff, Ironhand - and flagrantly stealing being inspired by them!

What's my cut? ;)
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject