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Arnold's Lovechild Dresses As Conan


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#1 amster

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 03:39 AM

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"I'm a barbarian...just like my dad!" -Joseph Baena

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Money and muscle, that's what I want; to be able to do any damned thing I want and get away with it. Money won't do that altogether, because if a man is a weakling, all the money in the world won't enable him to soak an enemy himself; on the other hand, unless he has money he may not be able to get away with it.
--Robert E. Howard to Harold Preece, ca. June 1928--

#2 Ironhand

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 06:26 AM

I'm trying to forget this as fast and as hard as I can. A gallon or two of vodka might help. :wacko:
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#3 amster

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 10:08 AM

Isn't he a little old for his mommy to be out trick or treating with him? His dad was pushing a big wheel around when he was that age. And look at those scrawny little girly-man arms!
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Money and muscle, that's what I want; to be able to do any damned thing I want and get away with it. Money won't do that altogether, because if a man is a weakling, all the money in the world won't enable him to soak an enemy himself; on the other hand, unless he has money he may not be able to get away with it.
--Robert E. Howard to Harold Preece, ca. June 1928--

#4 mario

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 04:09 PM

Maybe he shoulve gone out as the terminator instead?

#5 Ironhand

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 05:54 AM

Is that charcoal on his face to look unshaven? Should have put some on his chest as well. And mascara on his (fl)abs.

Man, I didn't even realize I was in such a snarky mood until I looked at what I had just typed!
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#6 icarus

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 06:29 PM

Wow you guys must be feeling pretty brutal today lol ;) Crom laughs at this picture. Laughs from his mountain.

#7 Guest_TheMIrrorThief_*

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Posted 04 November 2011 - 04:08 PM

Poor Arnold, the followers of Seth finally defeated him...darned snakes

#8 Dark Mark

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Posted 04 November 2011 - 10:13 PM

Is that his mum? What were you thinking Arnie?

Join me in The Mortuary or at Dreadful Tales where I review horror literature.


#9 amster

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Posted 04 November 2011 - 10:47 PM

Is that his mum? What were you thinking Arnie?


...and the sons of concubines, of which he had a goodly number, were not recognized as heirs to the throne.
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Money and muscle, that's what I want; to be able to do any damned thing I want and get away with it. Money won't do that altogether, because if a man is a weakling, all the money in the world won't enable him to soak an enemy himself; on the other hand, unless he has money he may not be able to get away with it.
--Robert E. Howard to Harold Preece, ca. June 1928--

#10 icarus

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 01:42 AM


Is that his mum? What were you thinking Arnie?


...and the sons of concubines, of which he had a goodly number, were not recognized as heirs to the throne.


LOL! I wish there was a way to 'like' this.

#11 Ironhand

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 05:49 AM

Is that his mum? What were you thinking Arnie?

She must have looked better eleven years ago, or thirteen years ago, or whatever...
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#12 witchfire

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 03:36 PM


Is that his mum? What were you thinking Arnie?

She must have looked better eleven years ago, or thirteen years ago, or whatever...

or after drinking a couple of case of booze
"today the blood of battle upon my weapons will never dry
many i'll send into the ground, laughing as they die"

#13 Officer Aggro

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Posted 05 November 2011 - 06:44 PM

Give him a couple more years and he'll hit the gym.

Does he even have any sort of contact with his father? I haven't been keeping up with this heh.

Is that charcoal on his face to look unshaven?


Maybe he just takes after his mom. ;)
- The illegitimate son of Crom

#14 amiableakuma

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 02:48 AM

I'm trying to forget this as fast and as hard as I can. A gallon or two of vodka might help. :wacko:

LOL! - "as fast AND hard" - ...yeah, pass me the jug while you're at it too...

#15 thatericn

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Posted 12 April 2012 - 04:34 PM

That's when he learned to cut out the black lotus...
"Careful with that ax, Eugene"

#16 Kortoso

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Posted 12 April 2012 - 04:44 PM

Welcome Eric!

#17 thatericn

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Posted 12 April 2012 - 08:07 PM

It's an honor to have a seat around the council fire!
"Careful with that ax, Eugene"

#18 BarbaricBludgeoning

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Posted 21 May 2012 - 04:32 AM

Conan ruled a kingdom for many years, until news that he had an illegitimate child with a maid came out.

#19 Konorg

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Posted 04 June 2012 - 10:43 PM

In an age undreamed of hither came Conan a barbarian who tread the jeweled kindoms under his feet.And many where the feuds and battles Conan fought,with all falling before his mighty blade,and thus he became king of the greatest Hyborian kingdom of the west,and then came the rumor out of the east of his love child and bravely did Conan travel forth to crush this vile serpent under his mighty feet,but low this rumor was truth and strive as he might even the armies of mighty Aquilonia which moved in service of king Conan could not defeat the forces of this love child who strove to gain that which was his,and as the armies of Aquilonia fell back in retreat

Mighty Conan tred forth fighting his way forward to confront his lovechild,mighty was the fight mant parries ,thrusts and cuts where given and taken but as the day wore on even Mighty Conan knew that he had now met the one who would defeat him,so tossing aside his sword he looked his son in the face and said' truly Cromn has given me a strong son'.

-------


then Arnold work from his nightmare to an empty bed :lol:

Edited by Konorg, 04 June 2012 - 10:45 PM.



The aveage civilized man is never fully alive;he is burdened with masses of atrophied tisse and useless matter.Life flickers feebily in him;his senses sre dull and torpid...In devloping his intellect he has sacrificed far more then he realizes."