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You Wake And Find You're Now In The Hyborian Age.


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#1 Rockamobile

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 01:35 AM

Your not sure how (some unnamed mysterious supernatural travel agency perhaps ) but you wake up and find your've been transported to the Hyborian Age. All you have are the clothes on your back and whats in your pockets. what would you do and could you survive ? Do you have the necessary skills to survive in that world. What Hyborian occupation do you think you would be best qualified for? (And Yes Magic does work here. ) Do you have the stamina to survive that place ? And which place would you want to find yourself and what place in the that age would not want to end up. :)

Edited by Rockamobile, 03 February 2012 - 01:44 AM.


#2 Ironhand

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 07:23 AM

I wouldn't survive 24 hours.
"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
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#3 Munthasem

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 09:26 PM

Very interesting topic Rockamobile.

While I agree with Ironhand that probably all of us would end up dead pretty soon, it's still entertaining to think about it. So supposedly I don't get killed or sold to slavery or something equaly charming, I'm left with my clothes on and what's in my pockets. If Idon't wake up in my pijama I'd probably have some jeans, a tennis shoes or if it's really cold, a pair of Timberland looking boots, a shirt and maybe a jackett. In my pockets would be my keyes, my Swiss army pocket knife, a small lamp, some money, a condom or two, ... hm... that's prety much it. Nothing to brag about and nothing that would save my ass. Going into the duel with someone who eagerly awaits to smash your skull with an axe, having only a multi tool? Even if it is the large one, it's ****in' hillarious. And what to do with my keyes' To scratch some wagon with it? A condom, well, a useful thing but sex would probably be the last thing on my mind in that situation so, I appreciate the idea of spending some happy hours with some Frazetta like, Vallejo style buxom babes but in a real situation, ...

I believe it would be wise to try to get some more suitable clothes so that you don't draw too much attention and try to get some serious weapon and some money. What would I do for a iving? Maybe it would be a safe thing to try to ask some craftsman if he can provide the food and a shelter to me in exchange for a help in his work.

If I'd survive long enough, I'd try to get someway to travel around and work and manage in some ways for my livng.

Of course, all of it is prety much boring, but trying to put some badass attitude maybe could work but could probably be a great disadvantage because being a hero or a coward would most deffinitely cost you some ass. Being sly and trying not to draw too much attention would probably work much better.

Edited by Munthasem, 03 February 2012 - 09:32 PM.

?Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand,
strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming?.. WOO HOO?. What a RIDE!?

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R.I.P. 1949. - 2004.

#4 Guest_TheMIrrorThief_*

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 12:01 AM

Your not sure how (some unnamed mysterious supernatural travel agency perhaps ) but you wake up and find your've been transported to the Hyborian Age. All you have are the clothes on your back and whats in your pockets. what would you do and could you survive ? Do you have the necessary skills to survive in that world. What Hyborian occupation do you think you would be best qualified for? (And Yes Magic does work here. ) Do you have the stamina to survive that place ? And which place would you want to find yourself and what place in the that age would not want to end up. :)

scenarios like that are exactly why I sleep with a loaded glock in my hand

#5 amster

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 03:24 AM

Your not sure how (some unnamed mysterious supernatural travel agency perhaps ) but you wake up and find your've been transported to the Hyborian Age. All you have are the clothes on your back and whats in your pockets. what would you do?


Seek out the closest barbarian chieftain in the vicinity, cut off his head, and take his women and all his belongings.

And could you survive ?

Survive? I'd friggin' rule!

Do you have the necessary skills to survive in that world?

In spades.

What Hyborian occupation do you think you would be best qualified for?

Thief, pirate, bandit, mercenary.

(And Yes Magic does work here. ) Do you have the stamina to survive that place ?

The question should be "does anyone in the Hyborian Age have the stamina to keep up with me?"

And which place would you want to find yourself and what place in the that age would not want to end up.

I'd probably go to Stygia (because I like exotic places), take over, and raise an army of warrior-sorcerors to conquer the rest of the world at my bidding. I probably wouldn't want to end up in Nordheim because it's too friggin' cold (not that I can't endure the cold, I just choose not to).
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--Robert E. Howard to Harold Preece, ca. June 1928--

#6 Ironhand

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 08:23 AM

Now that I think about it, if I could manage to survive and escape enslavement, I would try to get a job as a computer (that's what they used to call human people who did computations, before adding machines were invented). Using modern arithmetic methods, I would be faster and more accurate than anything except an abacus. Along the way, I would show my Swiss Army Knife to a blacksmith, and milk him for all he could fork over on speculation. Or if I really trusted him, I would try to get him to agree to give me an ongoing percentage of his sales on reverse-engineered SAK's. If I could actually build up a big enough grubstake, I would invest in a zinc mine or a zinc importation business, and a cosmetics business, and switch it over from lead-based cosmetics (destroys the skin) to zinc-based cosmetics (heals the skin). My god, how the money would roll in if I could swing that. I would sell zinc-based cosmetics to queens and princesses on the promise that they would heal the sores caused by lead-based cosmetics. (While trying to avoid assassination by the Cosmetician's Guild)

Edited by Ironhand, 04 February 2012 - 08:27 AM.

"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#7 Guest_Bront_*

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 02:06 AM

I live in a relatively safe corner of the world, very un Hyborian Age.

If I ended up in Conan's age I would try and open a little smithy in some barbarian backwater, as I have some little skill in that. Hopefully, I will survive long enough to work my way up by intrigue, build up a base of supporters, eract a stone keep, subject nearby tribes under my tyranny......

Nah, would rather stay here.

Edited by Bront, 05 February 2012 - 02:07 AM.


#8 Rockamobile

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 06:03 PM

Many might imagine having all kinds fantasy adventures and quests in the Hyboran age . But imagine difficult everyday life would be in such a place . I would have a very difficult time surviving in that a place like that . The l living conditions are like Rome and or the Middle ages in which If you lived to be 35 years old you would be considered old though. Hm, I seem to remember reading about a knight who fought in crusades at the age of 114. ( have my doubts about that claim.) Life would be similarly short in a place like the Hyborian age. And Never mind a major illness , you could die from a simple injury or infection. Or you might offend the wrong person and get thrown into a dungeon and forgotten or worse end up slave to some warlord or as a galley slave . Then there is the possibility that you might end up a sacrifice on some pagan alter.

Edited by Rockamobile, 15 April 2012 - 03:27 PM.


#9 Rargentum

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 09:59 PM

I'd grab onto CONAN's leg like a big Frazetta inspired girl and hope he protects me, or a tough as I think I am, I's be dead in about 20 minutes! :-)
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#10 Rockamobile

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 03:55 AM

I'd grab onto CONAN's leg like a big Frazetta inspired girl and hope he protects me, or a tough as I think I am, I's be dead in about 20 minutes! :-)



I think just about all of us would find living in the Hyborain age to be a daunting task. No comforts f any kind , even the with with wealth it would be tough. :)

#11 Almuric

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 05:26 AM

Sadly, I would end up in an obscure place like the Border Kingdom. There I would be devoured by the sabertooth-riding cannibals whom Howard never warned us about.
"It is more than a mortal sea. Your hands are red with blood and you follow a red sea-path, yet the fault is not wholly with you. Almighty God, when will the reign of blood cease?"

Turlogh shook his head. "Not so long as the race lasts."


--- The Dark Man, by Robert E. Howard

#12 Ironhand

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 05:27 AM

Sadly, I would end up in an obscure place like the Border Kingdom. There I would be devoured by the sabertooth-riding cannibals whom Howard never warned us about.

Damn! Why didn't he warn us?

Edited by Ironhand, 16 February 2012 - 05:28 AM.

"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#13 Kortoso

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 06:26 PM

Maybe for a weekend like a tourist in a third world country - with a modern-armed escort. ;)

#14 witchfire

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Posted 16 February 2012 - 07:15 PM

i know a little swordsmanship (not fencing) & archery
so i might try to enlist as a mercenary
"today the blood of battle upon my weapons will never dry
many i'll send into the ground, laughing as they die"

#15 Rockamobile

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 01:31 AM


Sadly, I would end up in an obscure place like the Border Kingdom. There I would be devoured by the sabertooth-riding cannibals whom Howard never warned us about.

Damn! Why didn't he warn us?


Because he wanted it to be a surprise? :)

#16 Ironhand

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 10:16 AM

Maybe for a weekend like a tourist in a third world country - with a modern-armed escort. ;)

Maybe a caravan of Range Rovers, with elephant guns and AK47's. And the staff would include a master chef.

But no tanks. That would be rude.

Edited by Ironhand, 17 February 2012 - 10:17 AM.

"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#17 Rockamobile

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 01:02 PM


Maybe for a weekend like a tourist in a third world country - with a modern-armed escort. ;)

Maybe a caravan of Range Rovers, with elephant guns and AK47's. And the staff would include a master chef.

But no tanks. That would be rude.


Yes, but living in a place without an internet connect is just too horrible to contemplate. :mellow:

Edited by Rockamobile, 17 February 2012 - 01:03 PM.


#18 King of Aquilonia

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 03:07 AM

At first I'd be ok. I'd start out as a thief having no gold, food, or weapons I'd steal to survive. as I got better I'd add a bow to my arsenal (I'm a decent amateur archer and practice (plus necessity) makes perfect.) My biggest problem however, is my Hypo-thyroidism. I don't know squat about pharmaceuticals and chances are the longer I was there the worse I'd get. assuming I didn't get killed by other bandits or someone catching me in the act, I figure I'd last about two maybe three years.

Edited by King of Aquilonia, 22 March 2012 - 03:08 AM.


#19 Ironhand

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 06:03 AM

If hypothyroidism is your problem, eat lots of seaweed. No guarantees,but it might help.

Edited by Ironhand, 22 March 2012 - 06:03 AM.

"Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man...!" - Conan, in "Shadows in Zamboula", by Robert E. Howard
"... you speak of Venarium familiarly. Perhaps you were there?"
"I was," grunted [Conan]. "I was one of the horde that swarmed over the hills. I hadn't yet seen fifteen snows, but already my name was repeated about the council fires." - "Beyond the Black River", by Robert E. Howard

Read my Conan screenplays at The Scrolls of Ironhand (in particular my transcription of THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER in Act II of "The Snow Devil") at
http://www.scrollsof...d.us/index.html or at
http://www.delicious...ic=ConanProject

#20 Pictish Scout

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 05:13 PM

If I get there with a common cold…I could well be worse than any resurrected acheronian wizard-king. :P